Starter Jokes

1. Allal:         Why do you carry your schoolbag to school?

    Brahim:     Because it can’t walk.

2. Amin:        Do you stir your coffee with your right hand or with your left hand?      

    Nacer:       With a spoon.

3. Mounir:     Why is six afraid of seven?

Driss:         because 7, 8 (ate), 9.

4. Salma:      What inventions have helped get up in the world?

    Hanan:      Lifts, ladders, and alarm clocks.

5. Hajar:       What color is a burp?   

   Ali:            Burple.

6. Samira:     When I was six months old, I learned to walk.

    Rime:        I was smarter than you. When I was that age, I let my parents carry

                      me.  

7. Customer: There is no soup on the menu?

Waiter:      I cleaned it a minute ago.

8. Customer:  Will my pizza be long?

Waiter:        No, sir. It will be rounded.

9. Tourist:      Excuse me. What is the quickest way to the train station?

By-passer:  Run

10. Boy:         What's white in the air and yellow when it falls on the floor?  

      Mom:       An egg.

Animal Jokes.

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1. Zaid:     What a cute dog! What's its name?

    Sanae:   I don't know. It won't tell me.

2. Sam:     Where does a turtle go when it’s raining

    Sarah:    A shell-ter

3. Bob:      What type of animal needs oil,

    Amy:    A mouse because it squeaks

4. Tim:      What did the bird go to jail?

    Heather: Because he use fowl language

5. Ana:       What’s the cat’s favourite subject?

    Ellen:     The Meow-sic

6. Jed:        What do cats like on hot dog?

    Nam:      Mouse-tard

7. Dan:      What do cows listen to?

    Sally:     Moo-sic

8. Cathy:    What do you call a place full of Ancient cows?

    Jack:       Moo-seum.

9. Betty:     What is a dog’s favourite color?

    Kirby:     Grrrrrrrrrrreen

10. Brian:     How come the Dalmatian couldn’t hide?

      Mina:     He’s already spotted

Classroom Jokes.

1. Teacher:    Are you chewing gum?
    Billy:          No, I'm Rime.

2. Driss:         Teacher, would you punish me for something I didn't do?           
   Teacher:      Of course not.

   Driss:           Good, because I didn't do my homework.

3. Teacher:     Ali, what is the past participle of the verb to ring?
    Ali:             What do you think it is, Sir?
   Teacher:      I don't think, I KNOW!
   Ali:              I don't think I know either, Sir!

4. Teacher:     Billy, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have

                       ten years ago.

Billy:          Me!

5. Teacher:    If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how 

                      many dollars would you have?
    Mourad:     One dollar.
    Teacher:     You don't know your arithmetic.
    Mourad:     You don't know my father.

6. Teacher:     Siham, you copied from Aisha's test didn't you?
    Siham:        How did you find out?
    Teacher:     Aisha's test answer says, "I don't know," and yours says, "Me  

                        neither."

7. Ahmed:      But I don't think I deserve zero on this paper.
    Teacher:     Neither do I, but it's the lowest grade I can give you.

8. Teacher:     Brian, go to the map and find North America.
    Brian:         Here it is!
   Teacher:     Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?

   Class:         Brian!

9. Teacher:     In this box, I have a 10-foot snake.
    Hind:          You can't fool me, teacher ... snakes don't have feet.

10. Teacher:    If "can't" is short for "cannot," what is "don't" short for?
      Hamza:     Doughnut.

11. Teacher:    Didn't you promise to behave yourself?
      Mounir:     Yes, Sir.

      Teacher:    And didn't I promise to punish you if you didn't?
      Mounir:    Yes, Sir, but since I broke my promise, I don't expect you to keep

                        yours.

12. One day, a teacher was attempting  to teach the names of animals to a class of 5-year-olds. She held up a picture of a deer, and asked one boy, "Billy, what is this animal?" Little Billy looked at the picture with a disheartened look on his face and responded, "I'm sorry Mrs. Smith, I don't know.". The teacher was not one to give up easily, so she then asked Billy, "Well, Billy, what does your Mommy call your Daddy?" Little Billy's face suddenly brightened up, but then a confused look came over his face, as he asked, "Mrs. Smith, is that really a pig?"!

A joke to ponder upon.

Feminine or Masculine?

A Spanish teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.
'House' for instance, is feminine: 'la casa.'
'Pencil,' however, is masculine: 'el lapiz.'
A student asked, 'What gender is 'computer'?'
Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether 'computer' should be a masculine or a feminine noun.
Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.
The men's group decided that 'computer' should definitely be of the feminine gender ('la computadora '), because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic,
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else,
3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval,
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine ('el computador'), because:
1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on,
2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves,
3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem,
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.

Who do you think won?